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Football transfer rumours: Joe Cole to Arsenal?

Still cautiously optimistic it might get the call should one of our journalistic colleagues coat have to undergo a late fitness test, the Rumour Mill’s attempts to acclimatise to life in South Africa have been cranked up a notch. It sleeps in an oxygen tent. It exists on a staple diet of biltong and Castle Lager. Its intellectual nourishment is provided by the novels buy canada goose jacket online canada of Wilbur Smith. It harbours ambitions of some day playing cricket for England.

Cesc Fbregas has loftier goals. The Arsenal midfielder’s desire to some day return to his spiritual home of Barcelona is well documented and despite his current club’s constant clucking to the contrary, is very much for sale if the price is right. According to a Sun story that, despite its claims, is about as “exclusive” as the Rumour Mill’s revelation that today is Monday, Arsenal have informed Barcelona that they can have Fbregas for 50m, a figure the Mail puts at 60m.

“This is the news the men in charge at Bar?a wanted. They now see the possibility of Arsenal cracking and are determined to get their man. They hope they can get an agreement at around the 35m mark,” revealed an unnamed Sun source at Camp Nou, who may or may not exist. Resigned to losing his midfield general, Arsne Wenger will replace him with ridiculously under-appreciated scampering Chelsea outcast Joe Cole, while simultaneously treating himself to Laurent Koscielny, a 24-year-old Frenchman of Polish extraction who plays centre-half for Lorient but is rumoured to be interested in a move to a club that sounds less like the world’s largest manufacturer of body and skincare, hair colour and styling products.

Having made good a lucrative escape from his increasingly untenable position at Liverpool, Rafa Bentez could be paraded as buy canada goose coat uk Internazionale’s new manager within 48 hours, assuming today’s meeting black canada goose parka with the all-conquering Italian club’s owner Massimo Moratti goes well in Sardinia. “He works hard and in the important matches he makes no mistakes,” said Moratti, who is evidently unfamiliar with the work of Andrea Dossena. Outgoing Italy manager Marcello Lippi is being mentioned in conjunction with Bentez’s old job on Merseyside, although quite how much bull the elderly Italian would be prepared to brook from Liverpool’s duplicitous owners is open to question.

Concerned by the paucity of non-scoring forwards on their books, Marseille want to buy Roque Santa Cruz from Manchester City. Despite being injury prone and distinctly underwhelming in the scoring stakes, the Paraguayan somehow remains a target for top European sides, a state of affairs that canada goose coat 1000 calorie diet is probably more a testament to the excellent work of his agent than the on-field efforts of the player. Speaking of non-scoring forwards, Dimitar Berbatov could be on his way to Wolfsburg, where Steve McClaren is canada goose coat 1000 calorie a day diet prepared to bid 20m for the effortlessly effortless Bulgarian.

Having sent Chucho Bentez back to Santos Laguna after a less than inspired season at St Andrew’s, Birmingham City have a vacancy for a pint-sized continental striker who tries quite hard but just isn’t really good enough. Palermo’s Fabrizio Miccoli appears to fit the bill.

Following that ill-advised stunt in which he led a gang of Tottenham team-mates in throwing a large bin of cold water over Harry Redknapp on live television, David Bentley is unsurprisingly being linked with a move away from White Hart Lane. He’ll be joined at Aston Villa by Jermaine Jenas, unless Stoke City can turn the head of the central midfielder whose career honours to date total, in reverse order of importance, a Carling Cup winner’s medal and a Soccer AM crossbar challenge winner’s T-shirt. Any monies raised for the pair C recently valued for insurance purposes by an Antiques Roadshow expert at 15m C could go towards covering the cost of Porto’s 17m-rated Colombian striker Radamel Falcao.

Fulham manager Roy Hodgson is tired of being the only man on the training ground who speaks seven languages and reads books, which could explain his can you wash a canada goose coat interest in signing notoriously well-educated literature buff and Swiss centre-back Philippe Senderos from Arsenal.

West Brom have joined a long list of Premier League also-rans including Sunderland, Blackburn, can you wash a canada goose parka Fulham, Everton and Bolton, who are reported to be sniffing around Stromsgodset’s buying cheap canada goose outlet jacket online teenage Norwegian striker Marcus Pedersen, who has exactly the kind of boy-band haircut you envisioned the burlington coat factory canada goose coat moment you read his name.

And finally, Argentina’s Benfica winger Angel di Mara keeps telling his international team-mates he’s signed for Real Madrid, which is starting to get on their nerves because none best ideas about canada goose outlet on pinterest of them asked, while Leicester are “leading the chase” for Millwall striker Steve Morison, whose surname looks like it’s missing an ‘R’ but definitely isn’t.

? This article was amended on 8 June 2010. In the original, Roque Santa Cruz’s low scoring record was linked to a joke about a form of physical impairment. This is contrary to the Guardian’s editorial code and has been deleted.