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canada goose uk shop Monday 10 September is World Suicide canada goose parka outlet Prevention Day. To mark it, we spoke to, a 32 year old man with borderline personality disorder (BPD), about how he recovered from his attempt to take his own life in 2014. It believed one in 10 people with BPD take canada goose factory outlet toronto location their own lives. canada goose uk shop

canada goose Four years ago I tried to kill myself. canada goose

Canada Goose Online I made my plans canada goose outlet in montreal and canada goose outlet toronto location I didn tell any of my friends or family what I was doing. I sent them all text messages beforehand, asking them how their day was canada goose outlet winnipeg address going and saying I hoped their next few weeks would be nice. A couple of them replied. I still remember those messages, even though it was just normal chat to them. I don think they could tell that I was in absolute agony on the other end. Canada Goose Online

As I walked canada goose jacket outlet store towards the spot where I thought my life would end, I took a quick photo of the scene and posted it, without a caption, on my Facebook page. Looking canada goose outlet boston back on it now, I guess it was a final cry for help. Part of me canada goose outlet store near me hoped someone would recognise where I was, realise why I was there, and come and rescue me. That not what happened, though. As you expect, people mainly just commented that it was a nice view.

uk canada goose outlet I was about to jump when, at the last minute, a coastal worker found me and talked me out of it. It was essentially his job to walk around the area and stop people from, canada goose jacket outlet well, doing what I was trying to do. uk canada goose outlet

Looking back on everything canada goose outlet store montreal that happened since, I feel so grateful to that man for stopping canada goose womens outlet me.

canada goose factory sale I 32 years old now, but I started experiencing mental health problems when I was just 12, around the time my dad died. came out of nowhere, like a lightning bolt to our family. He felt ill on the Friday and canada goose clothing uk died on the Sunday. canada goose factory sale

My childhood was actually really happy up until that point but my dad passing away changed something within me. His death made me feel cut off from the canada goose outlet houston rest of the world. I became increasingly overwhelmed with grief and started finding it difficult to talk to other kids at school. And because they couldn relate to me, they left me out of things and called me As I became more distant, they started to pick on me even more.

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canada goose clearance sale It wasn long before they started bullying me because I was gay. I hadn actually come out yet but that didn stop them beating me up to in their words if poofs could feel pain I knew deep down I was canada goose kensington parka uk gay but the bullying made it so much harder for me to admit it, even to myself. canada goose clearance sale

canada goose black friday sale I silently took whatever they threw at me. But all the while I was crumbling inside. with BPD experiences it differently, of course, but I fluctuate between being canada goose outlet england in a really low mood, like a depressive state, and feeling really high, like I can take on the world. It exhausting because I can switch between these two states within a day, or even within an hour. I can feel intensely happy, but then something will trigger me and plunge me into a really low mood. According to recent research, 2.4% of people aged 16 to 64 in the UK have BPD. It the same with people too. Someone is either the most perfect person I ever met, or they the canada goose outlet montreal spawn of the devil and what worse, just one miscommunication can immediately turn someone from the former to the latter in my head. There never a grey area, there no in between. I know situations aren actually like that, but I just can see things in any other way. I know it tough for other people to stick around, because often I take things personally when I shouldn or I take things out of context and put a really negative spin on them. If someone pays me a compliment, my mind automatically turns it into an insult. Fortunately, I do have four real friends who have stood by me through everything and I always canada goose outlet online had the unwavering support of my mum. canada goose black friday sale

buy canada goose jacket cheap The feeling of not knowing exactly what was wrong with me, just that I was deeply unhappy and reacting in an over the top way to everything, was how I felt all through school, canada goose outlet store uk college and uni too. After I finished my degree I got a good, stable job in IT but those feelings just wouldn go away. buy canada goose jacket cheap

Eventually in 2009, I had a breakdown at work. My mum, who I really close to, had fallen ill and it pushed me over the edge. But even after reaching those depths of sadness I didn heed the warning my body was sending me. Instead, I just got right back on the hamster wheel, official canada goose outlet started again, and tried to push the pain out of my mind.

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I suffered another breakdown just a few years later, in 2014, which led me to try to take my own life. My canada goose outlet mississauga mum was better, but I was up to my eyeballs in debt and, to be honest, I had just had enough of living. I didn want her to worry about me but I wasn myself at all, so she knew something was up. In the end, she was warm and supportive, as I knew she would be. It felt good to confide in her.

canada goose uk black friday It was then that I realised I couldn carry on the way I had been this canada goose outlet sale wasn something I could just push to one side and forget about. About a year later, in 2015, I decided I couldn hide who I was anymore and I finally came out as gay. I hoped that by acknowledging who I was, I could let go of the hurt and anger caused by the homophobic abuse I suffered as a child. canada goose uk black friday

canadian goose jacket Most of the people close to me were really accepting especially my mum, who has since become a massive LGBT ally. Even now, she always the first to tell me the latest gay rights news I found out that Ireland had legalised same sex marriage from her before seeing any of the headlines! canadian goose jacket

uk canada goose At the same time though, coming out was a bittersweet experience. Part of me had assumed that, if I came out, I would immediately feel this huge sense of relief and that I suddenly be happy with who I was. But that just wasn the case and that disappointment at not having that moment, where everything resolved itself in my head, plunged me into another blue period. That when I finally went to a doctor and was formally diagnosed with BPD. uk canada goose

Canada Goose Coats On Sale Getting diagnosed was only the beginning. I was prescribed a mood canada goose outlet florida stabiliser but I knew I would have to try to find my own way for the next two years before I could have Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (or DBT) of the long waiting lists for talking therapies on the NHS. I could see the time stretching out before me, which put me in a bit of a lonely place but at least I knew what was making me feel this way. Canada Goose Coats On Sale

canada goose outlet Ramlugon / BBC Three / iStock

After trying to take my own life, coming out and seeking professional help for my BPD, I left my job in IT. Instead, I started volunteering at a hospital in South London, before volunteering for a mental health charity in Camden for eight months. It felt good to help other people in a similar situation to me.

Then, one day in early 2017, I canada goose outlet hong kong heard about a walking group run by a local mental health charity in my area of North London and decided to try it out. It was actually incredible. Even though it was just a short route, canada goose outlet in usa walking with a small group of people going through similar stuff made me feel a lot less alone and the exercise helped me feel canada goose outlet location better too. Plus the guy leading the group seemed so confident, which I found inspiring. He had his life together in a way that I could only dream of.

Canada Goose Outlet The more walks I went on, the more energy I gained. I would chat to our group leader and ended up getting to know him quite well, and eventually I started plotting out our routes with him. It was voluntary, of course, but I really enjoyed it. I could feel myself growing in confidence. The weekly walks had become my reason to get up in the morning. I was devastated. I was worried that the walks, which had become a lifeline to me and so many other people in the area, wouldn be able to continue Canada Goose Outlet.